Thursday, April 26, 2012
Please Don't Love Me
uh...my love life is non-existent right now. I'm in limbo between no-strings-attached Island and I don't want to be loved-land. I like this though. There are no titles and although I'm kind of still dealing with my ex and her sense of entitlement breeded from her egotistical, narcissistic disposition, I still feel more free. I remember saying a while back that if I was really busy, face in books and hands on work, that I would be able to let go easier...but the truth is, letting go is hard. 7 long years. Se-ven-uh! Very close to 8 yrs. I'm trying. I used to be so afraid of the picture that she would paint of me to the world once we truly let go of the relationship but now, I don't care. If people want to view her as a victim (which she is far from), then I'll let them. (Why is it the quiet, sneaky ones are always the "victim"?? Oh because no one sees what they do. All they see are others' quite opposite of quiet reactions. Oh well). I can no longer let anyone eat at my soul like a cancer. I can't let anyone put me back in that place; that scared little girl, bitter and detached. I won't. I can't. Right????