Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Sometimes I loathe being (of) a black woman, in her late 20's and in the south of North America. (I know...loathe is a strong word but it's not that I hate being who I am but more like I detest how others see me.) After white men, then white women, then black men...we come in last in the chain of course. Sometimes I feel like I'm losing hope; hope that we will no longer be pawned off as some sort of social sub-group. I feel the oppression of this social stigma every day. Dont get me wrong...I love who I am but when I'm treated a certain way because of who I am, I can't help but to (here comes the yucky word) feel like I'm seen as less than. Kind of reminds me of W.E.B Dubois "double consciousness" concept. I recognized two people. I (think) I see who I am to myself but I also see who I am to others. I despise the latter.
"....a world which yields him no true self-consciousness, but only lets him see himself through the revelation of the other world. It is a peculiar sensation, this double-consciousness, this sense of always looking at one's self through the eyes of others, of measuring one's soul by the tape of a world that looks on in amused contempt and pity. One ever feels his two-ness,--an American, a Negro; two warring souls, two thoughts, two unreconciled strivings; two warring ideals in one dark body, whose dogged strength alone keeps it from being torn asunder"- W.E.B Dubois